HOUSTON– Top draft pick Fernando Mendoza threw an interception Thursday night and asked rhetorically, in an annoyingly high-pitched voice, âDid I Do That?â He then snapped the red suspenders he wears under his jersey and returned to the sidelines where he placed a phone call to a woman named Laura Winslow. Ms. Winslow did not…
WASHINGTON DCâThe Pat McAfee pandemic is here, and the White House is determined to stop it. Under pressure from lawmakers, activist groups, and Dr. Fauci, President Trump has partnered with Pfizer to create a vaccine that stops the spread of Pat McAfee. âThe science is in. Pat McAfee is not like other sports commentators. Heâs…
HOLLYWOODâLA Rams star wide receiver Puka Nacua made a big move off the field Tuesday when he landed the starring role in a new movie from Amazon MGM entitled âSilence of the Ramsâ. A reboot of the 90âs classic psychological horror thriller âSilence of the Lambsâ, Puka is set to play Hannibal âThe Cannibalâ Lector. …
BALTIMOREâDiego Pavia is a living, breathing Cinderella story. An unheralded recruit out of rough and tumble Las Cruces, his intense underdog warrior mentality transformed perennial doormat Vanderbilt into a top 10 program, while turning himself into a Heisman runner-up. So why did he get cut by the Ravens? When asked the question Thursday, Pavia shrugged…
We polled fantasy managers across the nation and compiled the top ten punishments you can try in order to inject some wacky fun into your home league! 10. Freaky Friday: The league winner gets to be you for a day. Kick back in your La-Z-Boy, drink your beer, and ‘visit your wife’s back porch’. 9. Face Off: Get…
ATLANTAâFalcons edge rusher James Pearce Jr. has been suspended by the NFL for eight games due to violating the league’s personal conduct policy for failing to inflict enough physical damage during domestic violence incident, Roger Goodell announced Monday afternoon. The league said in a statement that they are disappointed in Pearceâs actions. âThe NFL has a…
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J.âJaxson Dart was hit so violently by Vikings safety Jay Ward on Saturday that he donated to democratic socialist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. âJaxson stumbled to the sidelines, borrowed my cell phone and Venmoâd money to AOCâs super PAC. I sent him straight to the medical tent,â Giants Head Trainer Dava Archibald said. In the…
WASHINGTON DC–Senate Democrats demanded a criminal investigation into government interrogators Tuesday after the Trump administration acknowledged for the first time that Pat McAfeeâs new album, The Diary of a Polarizing Figure, was used on three terror suspects. In congressional testimony Friday, CIA Director John Ratcliffe became the first administration official to publicly acknowledge the agency used the…
SAN FRANCISCOâESPYâs Comeback Player of the Year Christian McCaffrey is already out for the season after tearing his ACL during a peaceful afternoon snooze. âAs far as I know, nobody touched him,â 49âers team doctor Scotty Archibald said. âHe nodded off on his sofa fully healthy and woke up with a shredded knee.â Three of…
