DALLAS—Stunning NFL fans and Civil Rights activists alike, longtime Cowboys owner Jerry Jones made an offer Tuesday to purchase Vikings QB Kyler Murray. “I don’t want his rights as a player, mind you. I want to take him home with me,” said the octogenarian in his distinctive Arkansas drawl. According to sources inside Jones’ family,…
Fans seeing ‘END RACISM’ in NFL end zones last year completely eradicated prejudice across the globe, so Roger Goodell has come up with 10 new slogans for this season. 10. END SHRINKING CHIPOTLE BURRITOS 9. CHOOSE HIGH END ESCORTS NOT TRAILER PARK HOOKERS 8. STOP INCLUDING WNBA LAYUPS IN SPORTS-CENTER TOP 10 PLAYS 7. CHOOSE…
In this weekly column, readers write letters asking for help with personal problems, and get practical life advice straight from the Black Hole. DEAR RAIDER FAN: My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have three children. At first, he was the best hubby and dad, coaching soccer and going for bicycle…
CHARLOTTE, NC—Eight-time Super Bowl champion head coach Bill Belichick found himself in hot water Wednesday after paparazzi photos surfaced showing him on a date with a new mystery love interest, despite being in a current relationship with Jordon Hudson. And it seems the 49-year age gap he shares with former cheerleader Hudson wasn’t enough for…
CLEVELAND—Shedeur Sanders may have lost the starting job to Deshaun Watson, but he was awarded a new prize on Friday — the first-ever FIFA Super Bowl Trophy. FIFA president Gianni Infantino said he thought Shedeur should have won the Super Bowl for his efforts to make the Cleveland Browns 53-man roster as a fourth-round draft…
Forget picking out of a hat. We polled fantasy managers across the nation and compiled the most ridiculous ways fantasy leagues actually determine draft order so you can inject some wacky fun into your home league! 10. Short Stick: Grab a tape measure and whip out your ding dongs. Whoever has the tiniest weiner picks…
CHICAGO—Being an NFL equipment manager is tough. Transporting gear, ensuring safety compliance, and managing game-day logistics. But life got a whole helluva lot harder for Bears equipment manager Matt Marcuccillo on Wednesday when Caleb Willams got a surprise BBL. “I’ve been on the job since the 1980s and found uniforms that can fit every shape…
SAN FRANCISCO–49ers owner Jed York was arrested on prostitution charges Sunday, but his attorney Emmanuel Bert claims it is all one big misunderstanding. “My client wasn’t soliciting sex in an Ohio trailer park. He was scouting prospective players.” According to police reports, York responded to an advertisement placed on a known-prostitution website and arranged to…
Pigskin Fantasy’s inside source in the Browns organization smuggled out Todd Monken’s decision tree that led to him to name Deshaun Watson the starter. Check out this fascinating peek behind the NFL curtain. WHICH QB DO WE START? 1. Who had the better preseason performance?➡️ Sanders ➡️ go to 2➡️ Watson ➡️ go to 3…
KANSAS CITY—Taking a cue from philanthropist Oprah Winfrey, Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker opened an all-girl’s boarding school on Monday. Called ‘The Butker Leadership Academy for Girls’, its mission is simple: teach girls how not to read. “What’s going on in society today is just plain sad,” Butker said. “Our women are falling behind. Everywhere you…
