Vikings Sign OBJ, Finally Address Glaring Need at Pregame Dancer
MINNESOTA– The Vikings have signed wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. to their practice squad, the team announced Wednesday, in hopes he will shore up their woeful pregame dancing.
The roster move comes a week after Beckham was released by the New York Giants after he failed to record a single catch, or target, with his former team.
But catching the ball is not why Vikings head coach Kevin O’Connell brought him in. “Frankly, the crowd looks bored during pregame warmups. Having a seasoned dancer on our team will go a long way towards keeping our fans entertained until the actual game starts.”
The Vikings have started 4-0, but O’Connell saw room for improvement. “We are doing well in three of the four phases of the game. Offense, defense, special teams are solid. We just had a big hole in the fourth phase: pregame dancing,” he shared. “Our guys would just warm-up. You know, tossing the ball, catching the ball, stretching hamstrings. They lacked pizazz. We brought in OBJ to fix that.”
According to O’Connell, the Vikings watched the Giants pregame film and were impressed with what they saw from the 33-year-old wide receiver. “In warmups, he’s electric. And by ‘electric’, I mean he’s really good at doing the Electric Slide.”
And it wasn’t just his dance moves that caught the Vikings attention. “OBJ is what I call a ‘lunchpail guy’,” O’Connell continued. “Only OBJ’s particular lunchpail is Bedazzled and contains Michael Jackson-inspired gloves with the sequins and various bottles of brightly-colored hair dye.”
As for how this signing impacts fantasy football, experts unanimously recommend managers do not waste a roster spot on OBJ… unless you play in a PPSL format (Point Per Stanky Leg). In that case, he’s worth all of your remaining FAAB.
At press time, O’Connell and staff were brainstorming ways that Beckham’s particular skill set could help the Vikings aside from pregame warmups. So far they had come up with: ‘Moonwalk during the halftime show’, ‘Style the cheerleader’s hair’, and ‘teach Justin Jefferson a touchdown celebration better than the same old Griddy’.
