Jed York’s Attorney Insists Client Was Merely Trying To Fill Hole In 49ers Roster

SAN FRANCISCO–49ers owner Jed York was arrested on prostitution charges Sunday, but his attorney Emmanuel Bert claims it is all one big misunderstanding. “My client wasn’t soliciting sex in an Ohio trailer park. He was scouting prospective players.”

According to police reports, York responded to an advertisement placed on a known-prostitution website and arranged to pay an undercover agent $140 in exchange for sex with a woman named Helen Bedd. But York’s lawyer insists his client was just doing what any dedicated NFL owner would do.

“According to the woman’s Yelp reviews, she is a hot prospect. Former customers describe her as ‘fit, flexible, high motor. First one in, last one to leave’. And with George Kittle dealing with injuries, Mr. York is on the hunt for a tight end who can also be a wide receiver. Ms. Bedd fits that bill.”

Reports say Helen Bedd’s Yelp reviews state she ‘likes to go deep’. ‘Enjoys the old end around’ and is ‘open to the tush push’. Apparently, this was just the kind of player York was looking for.

“Mr. York is tired of vanilla football. Ask anyone who’s been an owner for decades: running the same tired play season after season gets boring. So he was pounding pavement of Ohio in the dead of the night looking to find a player willing to bring a little razzle-dazzle to the field of play. The man should be praised, not vilified.”

At press time, York was questioning whether he should have just not cheaped out and paid the extra money to find a prospect using a discreet high-end escort service like a normal NFL owner.