Aaron Rodgers Hit So Hard He Briefly Starts Making Sense
FOXBOROUGH– Aaron Rodgers was hit so hard during his game agains the Patriots on Sunday that something miraculous happened. He started making sense.
Rodgers led the Steelers to the edge of the red zone in the second quarter and were facing a third-and-7. The former All-Pro dropped back to pass, but was obliterated by Patriots defender Christian Ellis from his blindside. Simultaneously, former Steeler Robert Spillane hit him from the front, causing a fumble that was recovered by the Steelers, resulting in a 4th and 43.
Although Rodgers walked to the medical tent under his own power, Steelers team doctor Scotty Archibald immediately became worried that he would miss significant time. “I asked if he was okay. He responded that he was not, and would not be okay until he got his flu shot. That’s the moment I feared he had suffered a brain injury.”
Sources in the Steelers organization said Rodgers continued to worry medical staff when he spoke graciously about his ex-girlfriends. “Danica Patrick was a delightful woman,” Rodgers shared with head coach Mike McCarthy during a time out, unsolicited. “Shailene Woodley and I broke up because of personal reasons I don’t feel comfortable discussing publicly. All I can say is I wish them both nothing but the best.”
At press time, the Steelers organization was relieved to report that Rodgers was back to his pre-blindside health, in the locker room smoking Ayahuasca with his personal shaman while telling teammates vaccines contain tracking devices and a secret society lives inside the earth’s hollow core.
