Roger Goodell Announces NFL Expansion Abroad; First Up: The Cancun Diarrhea
BUFFALO–NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said Thursday that the league will place more than one franchise overseas, starting with the “Cancun Diarrhea”.
Goodell made the comments as a guest on Prime Video’s “Thursday Night Football” pregame show ahead of the Week 2 matchup between the Bills and the Lions.
“With the increase in regular-season games being played overseas in front of hundreds of thousands of international fans, the support is there. It’s time to bring America’s game to the world,” Goodell said.
When asked why he chose Cancun for the first global team, Goodell responded: “Being our southern neighbor, travel and scheduling will be much easier.”
As for the mascot, Goodell stated that the NFL always looks for team names that are holistically related to the franchise city. He continued: “The ’49ers’ celebrate the San Francisco gold rush. The ‘Dolphins’ are a nod to Miami’s beaches and sea life. And the ‘Raiders’ honor Oakland’s long, proud tradition of carjackings. For Cancun, our market research narrowed it down to two choices, the other being ‘Murderous Drug Cartels’. But people from all walks of life just seemed to associate ‘Diarrhea’ with Cancun.”
Other international NFL franchises in the planning stages include the Frankfurt Nazis, the Tokyo Weird Porn, the Moscow Invaders, the Paris Smellies, the Nigeria E-mail Scammers, Barcelona White Mexicans, the Saudi Arabia Beheaders, and the London Yellow Teeth.
At press time, Cancun team president Ryan Stanley was in talks to sign the entire Cleveland Browns roster, as those players most represent the spirit of the Diarrhea.
