Sauce Gardner’s Mother Checks Into Rehab for Condiment Addiction
INDIANAPOLIS—Wilma Gardner knew she had an addiction when she went to McDonalds and ordered a twenty-piece Chicken McNugget, hold the McNuggets.
“I just wanted to eat the dipping sauces,” Wilma realized in the drive-thru as she accepted the bag holding nothing but ranch packets. “My order was a cry for help.”
When she told her children she was checking into a rehab facility, they were blindsided, according to her son, Colts cornerback Sauce Gardner said.
Sauce’s sister agreed. “The idea that our mother had an unhealthy obsession with dipping sauces never occurred to us,” Sweet ‘N Sour Gardner said from her home in Atlanta.
“It was the surprise of my life, I can tell you that,” Wilma’s youngest son, Zesty Buffalo Gardner, added. “We had the most normal childhood imaginable. Just like any other family. There was nothing about us that was out of the ordinary.”
At press time, Sauce Gardner’s other siblings, Lemon Pepper Rub Gardner, Popeye’s Mardi Gras Mustard Gardner, and Chipotle Habanero Ass Blaster Gardner, were unavailable for comment.
