Nick Bosa Out Against Rams After Eating Box Of Crayons

AUSTRALIA—Five-time Pro Bowl defensive end Nick Bosa has been ruled out of Thursday’s game against the Rams with an undisclosed injury. Sources within the 49ers organization confirm Bosa will miss time dealing with a stomach issue after devouring a 32 Box of Crayons, including the packaging.

“49er brass is used to this from the former Defensive Player of the Year,” NFL insider Adam Schefter noted. “Last season, Bosa missed time after contracting E. Coli when he ate a urinal cake.” 

This type of behavior was a red flag for teams as Bosa entered the NFL draft back in 2019. Rumors of the rising star’s off field issues plagued him at Ohio State, and Bosa allegedly did himself no favors in pre-draft interviews when he humped GM John Lynch’s leg, chewed the furniture and scooted his itchy ass all over the carpet.

When 49er head coach Kyle Shanahan was asked if he disciplined Bosa for this latest incident, Shanahan shared that he in fact did punish him as per the terms of his contract: “I struck Bosa on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper, shouted “Bad Nick! Bad!” and locked him in his training crate.”