Kyler Murray Denied Entry to “It’s a Small World” After Failing Height Requirement

ANNAHEIM—The gentle boat ride takes guests on a whimsical cruise to celebrate global unity and peace, but it made Kyler Murray pissed the hell off when he was denied entry for not meeting the height requirement of 3 feet and 4 inches.

“I don’t care that he’s the starting quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings,” Disney Cast Member Judy Ruiz said. “The safety of our guests comes first.” 

Sources say Murray stood on his tippy toes and stretched his neck to try and reach the 3 feet, 4 inch mark, but the savvy park employee saw right through his deceptive tactics. With the persistence that’s made the undersized Murray a two-time Pro Bowler, Murray allegedly returned several times to try to gain access to the popular attraction while wearing various disguises that ran the gamut from a different shirt, sunglasses, and a Cinderella dress complete with blonde wig and applied beauty mark.

In Murray’s last attempt before being escorted from the park, he stepped up to the measuring station wearing 6” platforms and a phony beard from Ye Olde Seven Dwarves Gift Shoppe.

“Fuck a Small World, fuck Walt Disney, and fuck that racist-ass dragon from Mulan. Why the hell is there a jive-talking dragon in 5th Century China? Makes no goddam sense.”

At press time, Kyler was seen not studying his play book. 

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