Following Utah Controversy, Pat McAfee Named Brand Ambassador For Charmin
INDIANAPOLIS–ESPN’s Pat McAfee has found himself at the center of a firestorm over the past week after comparing himself to Charlie Kirk following College GameDay‘s visit to the University of Utah. Now, McAfee has cashed in, accepting a deal to become a brand ambassador for Charmin toilet tissue.
“Pat exemplifies what Charmin is all about,” Charmin CEO Sharon Tums said from the corporation’s headquarters. “He’s extremely soft, white, square, and often full of poopie.”
McAfee found himself at the center of a controversy after a handful of college students took a break from their beer pong game to call him ‘corny’ on social media, which somehow made the former NFL All-Pro, who boldly raps about having ‘kinfolk who are shooters’, fear for his life and don a bulletproof vest.
McAfee was hiding under his bed when he got the call from Charmin. “It was the best call I’ve received since my record label called to inform me that my album went double aluminum foil,” he said while army-crawling across the floor so as not to make himself a target of teenaged joking. “I just don’t know how I’m going to fulfill my duties as brand ambassador with an FBI detail and full body armor.”
At press time, McAfee was seen dialing 9-1-1 after a nine-year-old said he had man boobs.
