BREAKING: Titan’s Jordan Elliot Went For Gun After Teammate Said Batman Isn’t A Real Superhero
TENNESSEE– The Tennessee Titans have released Jordan Elliott following reports that he allegedly went to get a gun after an altercation at the team’s training facility over whether Batman was a real superhero.
Sources within the Titans organization say that during a blocking drill, a teammate mentioned that Batman didn’t have any superpowers, so he couldn’t be a super hero.
This claim allegedly sent Elliot into a rage.
“The Dark Knight fights crime in a cape and a cowl, you fucking idiot!” Elliot reportedly yelled. “Of course he’s a super hero!”
Head coach Robert Saleh told local reporters on Wednesday that he disagreed with Elliot’s release, claiming that he was justifiably provoked. “Batman is in the Justice League. The Justice League only admits super heroes into it. Ergo by definition, Batman is a super hero.”
But Titans owner Amy Adams Strunk begged to differ. “Superman can fly. Spiderman walks on walls. But Batman? He’s just a normal human guy. I mean, sure, he’s in incredible shape, but so is D.K. Metcalf and nobody calls him a super hero. Hell, he’s only got 1 tuddy in 6 games.”
Elliott signed a two-year, $8 million contract with Tennessee during the offseason, but rumors persist that he blew it all on an issue of Detective Comics #27, the 1939 comic book that marks the first appearance of Batman, the latex Batman costume worn by George Clooney (complete with nipples), and a bottle of the shark repellant that Adam West used to defeat a rubber shark on the popular 60s TV show.
At press time, Elliot was plotting to murder his own brother after he suggested offhandedly that Batman and Robin were secretly lovers, using Robin’s tight green underwear as evidence.
