Police Find Anthony Richardson With Marijuana, Offer Harder Drugs After Reviewing Career Stats
INDIANAPOLIS–Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson was found in possession of marijuana following a traffic stop earlier this month, surprising officers who expected him to need more serious drugs to deal with his ‘dumpster fire’ football career.
“We pulled him over concerning questions about his car’s registration,” patrol officer Peter Swanson said. “He rolled down the window and it smelled like he was smuggling 47 skunks inside. He admitted he’d been smoking marijuana in the vehicle to avoid smoking it at home around his children.”
Officer Swanson recognized Richardson as an NFL quarterback, and looked up his statistics on his patrol car’s mobile date computer. “When I saw he went from the #4 overall pick and franchise QB for the Colts in 2023 to backing up the physically inferior Daniel Jones with a 71 passer rating this season, throwing just one pass for nine yards, a wave of pity warmed my heart. I thought, hell, this poor man could use something stronger than ditch weed and THC-infused gummies to help him deal with his crushing sense of disappointment and depression.”
The kindly officer, according to his statements, popped his trunk and offered Richardson a cornucopia of cocaine, heroin, crystal meth (the blue kind cooked by Walter White’s criminal alter-ego Heisenberg) and a variety of bath salts.
Richardson was asked to exit the vehicle and was detained in handcuffs, the documents state, while officers searched his Dodge Charger. Officers stated they found a small amount of marijuana and in the glove compartment. The items were confiscated by police.
Richardson ultimately was allowed to leave without being arrested, but received a citation for an expired registration and the phone number of a suicide-prevention hotline and local massage parlor.
The prosecutor’s office said Richardson would not be officially charged, as that would be considered cruel and unusual punishment. “We aren’t monsters,” District Attorney Dave Walker said Friday. “He’s QB2 behind Daniel Jones. This man has clearly suffered enough.”
At press time, the Carmel Indiana Police Department was holding a ceremony to publicly award Officer Swanson, the police officer who provided Richardson with hard drugs, with the prestigious Meritorious Service Medal, conferred upon officers who show exceptional compassion to vulnerable citizens in the line of duty.
